I have recently been made aware of no less than four (4) relationships that have started with affairs.
In each situation the man was married. Two of the four women were married and the other two single.
There was an affair, after which there was a divorce and the man and the woman continued the relationship.
I understand that being married does not mean that the ability to feel emotions die and you become a corpse. You can, as a human being, connect with so many different people and I’m sure there is more than just one “soul-mate” out there for each person.
I don’t understand, however, how you can start a relationship on a lie? How do you enter a relationship knowing that your partner cheated on their spouse with you, and convince yourself that they won’t do the same to you? As soon as the relationship becomes monotonous, or the responsibilities of parenting or running a household outweigh the fun of being lovers, will he or she not leave you for someone else who is more fun, more interesting, richer, fitter, better?
I’m not going to go into the moral dilemma of infidelity. That is a heated debate for another day.
I want to know, unless you and this other person have a history of many many years, and when you two are single, you then have the opportunity to be together (which is a different story as there still should not be adultery) – how do you, consciously and with peace, have a relationship with a cheater? Do you sleep well at night? Do you wonder what he is doing on his phone? Or social media? Or do you now know what to look out for?
My one friend’s one (single) piece of relationship advice she gave (and yes, she only gave one) was “how a relationship starts is the basis on which it will end”.
She called it logic, I think some may call it karma?